Postpartum…this s**t is hard

I’ve been through weight loss, and gain, back -to- back pregnancies, and have been postpartum 3 times. Before kids, I was in the best shape of my life, by the end of my pregnancy with Shade I was so out of shape I could hardly walk around the block. My pregnancies with the girls were healthy, I lost a healthy amount weight, and only gained about 10 pounds those 40+ weeks instead of gaining 60 like I did with Shade. But even with all that effort, and hard work, postpartum still sucked.

I’m not one of those moms that loses weight while breastfeeding instead, my body holds onto every extra pound of fat to give my baby everything she needs. Breastfeeding gives me the worst sweet tooth, and in the first few weeks it was so bad I literally would have killed someone for some chocolate. I had Russell pick me up snickers almost daily, my mom and I would hide in the kitchen, laughing, and sneaking mini snickers where Shade and Ruby couldn’t see us. Cue gaining all the initial baby weight I had lost, back. On top of a ridiculous sweet tooth, I was sick like no other this time postpartum. I kept saying I must be getting punished for something. Allergies, turned bad sinus infections, fevers, a bad umbilical hernia, axniety, and my poor Stella being hospitalized at 3 weeks old, led to set back, after set back. Every time I thought I could get back to working out, I’d end up having to take more time off.

Post-baby, our bodies are… different. It’s squishy, and messy, your boobs are huge, leaking, and stomach still looks 5 months pregnant. I always joke with my husband the way my stomach looks now I could pick up the excess skin, and slap him in the face with it, of course he calls me crazy and still thinks I’m beautiful regardless (so maybe he’s the crazy one, lol). If your body has bounced back, you go mama! I’m envious. For me, there has been no magic cure-all, it’s either breastfeed and hold onto extra weight a little longer, or stop nursing, and lose. In the end, feeding my babies comes first.

Postpartum…this shit is hard, and losing the baby weight? That shit takes hard work. Its me balancing my house, husband, cleaning, cooking, pets, laundry, 3 kids, stopping mid workout to nurse Stella, or break up a fight between Shade and Ruby, or pick up dog crap so they don’t run it over with the powerwheels (real life). Before kids I would easily go to the gym for two hours a day, and a 5+ mile run every night. Now, I don’t always get the opportunity to workout daily, but when I do – I give it my all, and I try to eat as healthy as I can.

I didn’t take my measurements right away, because I knew it would just upset me. So in March (5 months pp) I measured around my waist, belly button, and hips. (I had to take a month off in there for my surgery) but I have lost

  • 2 inches in my waist
  • 6.5 inches in my belly
  • 3 inches in my hips

And in the last month I have finally started to lose weight and slowly, have lost 6 pounds. I’m almost 10 months postpartum, (I had Stella in my belly longer than she has been earth side) and I’m JUST now starting to see results. My pregnancies have all been very close together, so it’s been nice to have my body to myself (well not fully🤱🏼) for the first time since 2013. This is going to be a long journey, because I DID have 3 back to back pregnancies, but eventually I will get where I wanna be.

I wanna let you know, if you’re postpartum, and you’re struggling with how you feel, or what you see when you look in the mirror, you aren’t alone. From having an eating disorder for years, having body dysmorphic disorder, and how my pregnancies have left stretched out skin hanging from my tummy that only gets worse the more weight I lose, this is something I will struggle with forever. We are our own worst critics, we just have to remember it isn’t a race. It took me having 3 kids to realize there is no time limit on losing baby weight.

This season of our lives doesn’t last forever, we need to enjoy our babies instead of stressing about how we look, and worrying about getting back to our pre-baby body when our babies still have that delicious newborn smell. Remember that you ARE beautiful, strong, and no matter how we look – our littles love us endlessly.


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